My Two Week Waiting List, by Sita BB Shar
What surprised you most about the two week wait?
S: That it isn’t actually 2 weeks, and usually about 9 days. Also, I have had every symptom under the sun pointing to that I’m pregnant, and every symptom pointing to not. In the end, I realised that early pregnancy symptoms and all symptoms of IVF mirror each other.
What helped you stay grounded or supported during that time?
S: Going through any form of infertility or IVF is isolating. Not only does nobody else understand, but others going through it are on their own path. Different protocols, different situations, different problems. On top of it all, every clinic has different approaches. I relied on my own assurance and conviction that I’m doing my best. On days I wanted to slow down and be reflective, I would take walks, have head massages (I had awful headaches) and pamper myself. On days I wanted to keep busy, I’d do something fun – things I know I’ll enjoy.
Did you have a favorite comfort meal or snack during the wait?
By the time I was onto my third of fourth round of this waiting period, I’d thrown all the supplements in the bin. I did everything that I enjoyed, and discarded all routines that felt forced (including nutritional diets). I ate healthily, but happily. My favourite meal is spaghetti drenched in an arrabiata sauce. With cheddar and a lashing of ketchup!
Who or what was your biggest source of support?
My husband.
Did you develop any funny habits or little superstitions?
I stopped peeing on sticks a long time ago. So I never went back to testing on those. I waited diligently for the blood tests. That said, I got my first negative when we did the blood test on Day 9. So for my second round, I asked to wait an extra day to have the blood test (to erase the previous memory and a kind of superstitious act of rebellion.) It turns out, the universe has the last laugh and the extra day too was a negative.
Looking back, is there a moment that makes you smile or laugh now?
A few. The most vivid is refusing to pee after the ET for a whole other hour for fear of the embryo falling out. Other than that, every time I used to symptom check during the two-week wait. It was all pointless. When I did finally fall pregnant, the symptoms were all different each time.
If you could recommend one cozy, feel-good recipe, what would it be?
Tea and biscuits.
Is there a fiction or non-fiction book that you read during this time that you would recommend to others?
My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite or How to Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie.
On the non-fiction side, I’d recommend Spirit Babies by Walter Makichen and Rosa’s Choice by Debra Kilby
If you could create a “two-week wait emotional support kit,” what is something that would be in it?
A 1000 piece puzzle. My husband and I spent every evening together doing this.
Do you recommend yoga, journaling, mindfulness or meditation?
S: Meditation is great and helped me connect with myself. Mindfulness is all great in theory, but not when you are overcome with every tiny sensation going through your body at every second of the day. I do recommend acupuncture. Not that I particularly liked the needles _ I found them painful – but my acupuncturist was fantastic. I used to book her in just so that I could talk to her. She was so interesting! Sadly, she’s moved to Scotland, but if you ever want to look her up, her name is Lyndsey Isaacs.
What are your top practical tips for someone about to go through this?
Focus on what brings you joy. Everything else is just a tick-box exercise.
What would you tell someone about being kind to themselves during this time?
Always try to be kind to yourself. It’s difficult enough so any love you shower on yourself is a necessity. And always trust you are doing enough. In this very moment, you have done enough.
About Sita:
Sita BB Shar is a London based writer currently in the final stages of completing her first novel. Sita writes about fertility, fashion, family, art and travel, and works with various UK creative writing communities. You can read more of her work at MyRedcoat.com and find her on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sitabbshah/
LCRH wishes to thank Sita for her generosity in sharing her creative talent and editing skills, which have been instrumental in the creation and development of the Two Week Waiting List.
